The Mistake
by peetaslongbuns
Summary: Katniss find out she is pregnant and she isn't ready but Peeta is and then when she goes into labor the unthinkable happens


The Mistake

"Im scared." I whisper to Peeta, setting down the positive pregnancy test down on the dresser. "Why?" He stands up from the bed. "I don't know if I want a baby. What if it ruins us?" He blinks at me and puts his hand over the tiny little thing growing inside me. "Katniss, this baby will bring nothing but love for the three of us." I can feel my heart race faster. He leans in and plants a chaste kiss on my lips. "We're going to be a family!" He rest his forehead against mine and smiles against my lips.

I wasn't sure I wanted this baby. We. No.I wasn't ready but Peeta kept reassuring me that this baby will bring nothing but happiness to us. I didn't believe him I know that when I was a baby I was the reason my parents' marriage ended. What if this baby did the same to Peeta and I. I look down at my fingers and frown. He tilts my head up forcing me to have eye contact with him. Those beautiful blue eyes makes my heart flutter, and the look in them tells me that he knows exactly what I was thinking about. "We aren't going to be like your parents. Okay?" He slides both his hands on either side of my face to steady his passionate kiss "I love you." He whispers. "Always?" I mummer. "Always."

I wasn't sure I was really going to love this baby until I felt its first kick inside me. Feeling it move inside me was the best feeling in the world. After a long day of work Peeta likes to get down on his knees in front of me everyday before we go to bed to tell the baby how his day was and he tells the baby how excited he is. He snuggles close to me with his arms over my baby bump to protect it.

The most excruciating pain was when my water broke. Peeta was so frantic as he droves to the hospital. He ran all the red lights and speed all the way to the hospital. He didn't want to wait another minuet to see his baby. They give me and epidural so I'm numb to the contractions and before I knew it the doctor comes in to tell me that it's time to push. But when my baby boy comes out he isn't crying and he looks purple. The nurses and doctors start to franticly help my baby. They take him out of the room and I begin to scream "where's my baby?" Peeta squeezes my hand and tries to smile. "He is going to be okay." His blue eyes are so blue and full of tears that he is trying to fight back. When the doctor comes back in he looks at us both and I know. "No. No. Where's my baby."

"Mr. and Mrs. Mellark I'm sorry."

Peeta pulls me into his arms as he sits on the bed.

"No!" I push my head in his chest and scream against him. "No!" I feel Peetas tears hit the top of my head. I didn't even get to hold my baby.

"What happened to him?" Peeta questions the doctor.

"The umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck and he couldn't breathe." I sob harder into Peetas chest knowing that the baby died inside me. "I'm so sorry for your loss." The doctor left the room quietly shutting the door behind him. I feel like I've been hit by a truck a thousand times. I feel so numb to the world, I'm in pain every where but I feel most of the pain in my heart. I can feel it breaking and it hurts so much. Peeta promised that this baby would bring nothing but joy and happiness and I;m so angry that he lied. I cry myself to sleep huddled against Peeta's chest.

When I wake up its hard to open my eyes because they swelled from crying so much. I'm intertwined with Peeta on the bed. I lift my head from his chest and look at his puffy eyes. He looks so young when he sleeps. I can't help but to cry some more. I must of started to weep because Peeta's eye shoot open and cradles me in his lap and rocks us back and forth.

It didn't take long for me to push myself away from Peeta. Every time I look at him I can't help but to see him holding our baby and how happy I can't make him. All he ever wanted was a baby and I couldn't even give him that. I have completely failed him and our baby. I sleep in the guest room because I can't even look him in the eyes. He leaves notes on the pillow next to me telling me how much he loves me before he goes to work. How can he love me? I've ruined us. All I do is lay on my side and stare at a blank wall, I haven't even been in our babies room since that horrible day. There are days where I feel paralyzed and don't move for days unless Peeta comes to take care of me. Sometimes I smell liquor on him, I can tell that's how he tries to help with the pain he feels. When I finally feel the need to get up, I sit up and I look at the clock and it says three a.m. My feet touch the ice cold wooden floor and it feels alien to be walking. I walk to the kitchen to turn on the light when I hear weeping up stairs. When I reach our bedroom Peeta's facing the window but I can see his side move up and down with his breathing. "Peeta?" The weeping stops but then continues, so I lay in front of him and wrap my arms around him drawing him closer. "I'm sorry!" I say as tears start to swim in my eyes. "All you do is try to make you happy and the only thing that could make you happy I couldn't even do right." He wraps his arms around me placing his forehead against mine. I bring my hand up to wipe away the tears rolling down his cheeks and his eyes. "You are what makes me happy." Peeta squeaks. "I love you." He kiss me long and hard.

After two long years full of grief, sorrow, forgiveness, trust, and love I became pregnant again with a baby girl. She had blonde hair like Peeta but my grey eyes.


End file.
